A Grief Prayer

I pray for you in those quiet moments

Between family gatherings and zoom prayer meetings

Between phone calls and text messages

When the house is quiet

And you would have otherwise heard her voice

Or the sounds of her stirring

Or just known she was there

I pray for you most especially during those times

That you allow yourself the full range of your grief

To scream into the void

To free fall into the agony of her absence

To find comfort and closeness in your shared pain

I pray that you discover her again and again

In untold memories

Resurfaced photos

A visit in your dreams

An unmistakable sign

A serendipitous hummingbird

The kiss of a passing spirit

All the ways she whispers that her love for you lives on

I pray that as you navigate this dark, unmarked path

And bump up against the edges of your existence

That as you swim in the abyss unable to tell up from down

You discover yourself

Your potential

Your depth

And also your center

Your breath

Your anchors

Your strength

May you allow yourself the grace to fall apart

and come back together again

May you be open to the different faces of grief

both within yourselves and each other

May you make space for each other’s messiness

May you know you can ask for what you need

And be gentle with yourself when what you need isn’t always clear

May you know you are loved and held by all of us

The village that holds you

-Monica Ramil

Shared with the permission of my cousin's family who lost their matriarch during the pandemic and for whom this prayer was written.